5 Star Reviews

Do I care what people think?  Usually I do, yes.  When buying books, I have a particular interest in taking the temperature of readers who have turned the pages before me.  When selecting books for the library I often read both professional reviews and the reviews of every day readers that appear on sites like Amazon.

When I heard that Nicole Polizzi (aka Snooki from the MTV mega-hit Jersey Shore) was writing a novel (you heard right, a novel… not a memoir or fashion how-to, but an actual novel with a plot and characters), I was instantly curious how it would stand up to literary critique.  Since Snooki has made her living portraying herself as a party-girl rather than a scholar, I was shocked out of my chair to see that Amazon readers were giving her 5-star ratings by the dozens.  Surprised that is, until I read them.

Amazon customers have out done themselves lining up to tell you with their electric wit just how awful they think this book is.  Here are a few lines directly from the 5-star category…

 “If you never ever buy a book and read it, this book shouldn't be it! Every page you never turn will be a blessing.

“I never knew what it was like to stare into the abyss, until I read this book.”

“This is by far the best assisted suicide novel I have ever read. I was literally cutting my wrists as every page was turned.”

“It made for an excellent kindling to get my grill started so I could cook some burgers. Fortunately, or unfortunately, fire doesn't really care what is used to get them started.”

These facetious reviews are even funnier when you read them in full.  There were more than a few lines I had to leave out.  Though I have not actually read Shore Thing, I am pretty certain that the Amazon reviewers employ more clever prose. 

In fairness, some five-star reviewers truly did enjoy the book, calling it “hilarious” and a “page-turner.”  As a librarian, I am pretty careful to respect the “to each her own” adage when it comes to listening to readers talk about their favorite titles and authors.   In this case though, I can’t help imagine what it would be like throw a dinner party and invite a handful of readers who claim Snooki’s book is most useful as toilet paper and a handful who would proudly crack it open on a transatlantic flight.  Somehow I think the evening would end in tears, but I can’t say for sure which group would be crying.

A few people have asked me if I plan to read the book myself, give it a fair shot.  I’m sorry to say the answer is an unequivocal “no.” Reading the reviews is enough for me.  I certainly learned a lesson- take the 5-stars with a grain of salt!